“I have the right to own my ideas and opinions, to make my own decisions, and to have things go my way at times. I will always stand up for my rights and I don’t need to ask you for it because I’am not gonna bear your slavery any more.”
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a violent behavior usually done by a spouse or partner who can be married or unmarried to the victim or may be separated from the victim. Domestic violence can affect men and women, any race or religion, rich or poor, gay or lesbian.
Research shows that 80% of the domestic violence acts are performed by men and women are considered mostly as victims.
Some of the types of abuses performed by men are:
- Physical abuses like hurting the victim or threatening to hurt their loved ones or pets.
- Emotional abuses like acts including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, and humiliation, intimidation which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth. At times, the abuser also withholds the money so that the victim is financially dependent and can have more sense of control.
- Social abuses like restricting the victim for seeing or meeting family members or relatives and preventing any activity outside residential care.
- Sexual abuses like forced sexual act or behavior without the victim’s informed consent.
Mostly, the victim goes through all types of abuses mentioned above. It all depends on the abuser’s nature and behavior and sometimes even on their mood.
A voice against domestic violence:
To stop domestic violence, it is necessary to raise our voice against domestic violence. Don’t just let it happen because being a victim and staying quiet is an approved license for men to abuse you. They think that they can control you and intently make you work as slaves. Keeping quiet will not make them better but worse than before because it’s like adding kerosene oil to the burning fire. The more you add kerosene to the fire the more violent and dangerous it will become. So, wake up my friends.
To stop domestic violence to get intensified or say, general awareness of domestic violence for you my friends who in future can become the victim so to do this, you need to:
- Identify the signs
At the initial stage of marriage everything will go well. Your spouse might take you out for movie, dinners and picnics. At this point of time you might think that your spouse or partner will never do sort of things that you dislike; this is a natural thinking but guys anything can happen at later stage so its always better to prepare yourself to fight against it by identifying simple signs .
At later stage however, there would be small fights for an example your hubby slaps you that does not mean that you are the victim of domestic violence. Domestic violence takes place when your partner dominates you, doubts you, becomes over possessive, forces you for everything and takes a track of where you go and slowly tries to take control over you but however, in most cases the abuser does not get physically violent at this point of time and this is the time where you can speak up and protest against it.
- Stay confident and bold
After identifying the signs and reacting to it you must stay confident and bold enough instead of getting afraid and being the victim. Your confidence will prove to be your biggest strength and your partner’s biggest weakness.
- Marriage is a lifetime commitment
When you marry someone, you promise to be together in good times as well as tough times, to support each other in whatsoever situations. It’s a relationship of strong bonding inclusive of trustworthiness, care for each other and understanding and if any of these three factors are lacking it at least deserves a chance.
Therefore, marriage should not be ended so easily. If at all your partner does not make an equal and fair relationship with you; you must sit and talk to your partner directly and make him realize how much you love him and can’t live without him and if he cooperates with you; Life will be smoother and simpler and less troublesome because life is like a cycle and in order to move ahead it is necessary to have a balance between both the wheels if one wheel is too powerful and one is weak the cycle will fall and won’t be able to move ahead. In the same way, only when the both partners cooperate, believe in, respect and support each other will the cycle of true life moves on.
- Plan about your escape if nothing else works out
After you have spoken to your partner and got a positive response and your partner is ready to cooperate and spend rest of the life peacefully without any kind of violence then this step is not for you; but in case you do not get any positive response from your partner and if he continues to threaten you then you must take up this step. You must plan your escape in such a way that your partner does not doubt you because he will never want to lose you not because it’s his love for you it’s because he will never want to lose control over you so you need to be very cautious.
- Contact your friends and family for help
After you have decided to leave your partner you must try to contact your friends or family for help. Firstly, you must simply go out and tell your partner that you are going to a grocery store maybe to get some veggies for dinner or some other valid reason and call from an unknown local STD and ask your family members or friends for help and know the exact address so that after escaping from your partners house you can directly head to their house.
- Execute the plan
After you have contacted your friends and family it is the time for action and executing the plan. To do this you must act in a complete normal way so that your partner does not doubt you and you can execute the plan smoothly. So, firstly, you must wait for the bedtime; the time when your partner is fast asleep only then can you escape when your partner is in deep sleep. In order to make your plan more successful, you can do some nasty tricks like giving him drink after dinner or preparing dinner a bit heavy yet tasty so that your partner feels sleepy fast and you don’t have to wait much. However, you must at least wait for half an hour to make sure that your partner is in deep sleep. Firstly, begin trying some tricks which may be useful for future like switching off the alarm and leaving a short note on the table saying that you are going to a temple for a religious function and will be back in an hour. This trick will not only clear your partner’s doubt when he wakes up and doesn’t find you but also will give you 1 hour time. In that time you would have reach to your friends and family already.
- Contact to helpline or police station
After you have escaped your partner’s house and reached to your desired location the danger is still not subsided folks. Your partner might find you all over the area and might head straight to the police station and before he does that you must make a complaint against him with the help of your friends and family because you will be having full support of friends and family and would be no more alone. You can either call the police station or women helpline to tell them the truth so that he gets arrested and you can sleep a fearless and peaceful night. Ensure that your partner gets the worst punishment because he deserves the worst and you deserve the right justice.
Don’t get afraid to share your story with women helpline or police station because they gonna truly help you. I have seen many women who don’t seem to share their story neither with police nor women helpline just because they think that by making their private story as public they would give a chance to the society to blame her for everything.
I think this is a very narrow minded thinking and I think you must always raise your voice against the domestic violence whether it is you who is the victim or someone else. What do you think readers? What are your views and your true meaning about the factor stating “A voice against domestic violence” please do share with me. Happy Reading 🙂